I changed my whole life last week, after a lifetime of dedicating my self to a singular pursuit.
Was there one straw the broke the camel’s back?
One of many straws these 57 years I have sacrificed so much for so little.
Okay, maybe that is being a little dramatic.
And, probably, this singular straw that caused the wall of straws to come tumbling down, may seem inconsequential to you.
But you don’t know me. Or my story.
It all started when…
Hahaha…I’m sure half of you clicked exit right there.
I would have.
Unless… I just had to know the straw, the career and what the drastic change is.
Well…the silly little straw was a “mistaken blurt that couldn’t be saved” by someone I thought I knew.
In the moment, I kept my gaze steady, my voice silent, and my exit graceful.
BUT OMG…ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? WHY??? HOWWW???
You clever little bastard, or should I say bitch, depending on the day of the bi.
Maybe it is all a blessing in disguise. Time to try something new. Time to leave this critical, messy, demeaning career and the people in it behind.
My world stopped.
No calls, no emails, no frantic texts.
Silence.
As if the universe knew, and supported the landing.
I still am in shock.
My pilot light of hope, ever burning since I was a child, has gone out.
I feel calm, resigned, depressed, relieved, fat.
I am eating my sadness away, but no amount of yummy is enough.
The cycle of momentary bliss and disgust at my portruding tummy.
I will go back. Yes, I can. To my childhood hometown.
I will find a place there, all the way across the country, and live near my family who I do not know anymore, and who still treat me like I am 7.
Might be nice.
Might be.
Or, it could be hell.
Probably. Yes. Hell.
But so is staying here in the land of lost hope.
I have other talents.
I could open a boutique.
I could teach.
I could retire.
I could.
But I never thought I would.
I thought I would die doing what I loved, and all the sacrifice would have been worth it.
But I can confidently and devastingly say, that it has not.
Yet…
— Trish
Was there one straw the broke the camel’s back?
One of many straws these 57 years I have sacrificed so much for so little.
Okay, maybe that is being a little dramatic.
And, probably, this singular straw that caused the wall of straws to come tumbling down, may seem inconsequential to you.
But you don’t know me. Or my story.
It all started when…
Hahaha…I’m sure half of you clicked exit right there.
I would have.
Unless… I just had to know the straw, the career and what the drastic change is.
Well…the silly little straw was a “mistaken blurt that couldn’t be saved” by someone I thought I knew.
In the moment, I kept my gaze steady, my voice silent, and my exit graceful.
BUT OMG…ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? WHY??? HOWWW???
You clever little bastard, or should I say bitch, depending on the day of the bi.
Maybe it is all a blessing in disguise. Time to try something new. Time to leave this critical, messy, demeaning career and the people in it behind.
My world stopped.
No calls, no emails, no frantic texts.
Silence.
As if the universe knew, and supported the landing.
I still am in shock.
My pilot light of hope, ever burning since I was a child, has gone out.
I feel calm, resigned, depressed, relieved, fat.
I am eating my sadness away, but no amount of yummy is enough.
The cycle of momentary bliss and disgust at my portruding tummy.
I will go back. Yes, I can. To my childhood hometown.
I will find a place there, all the way across the country, and live near my family who I do not know anymore, and who still treat me like I am 7.
Might be nice.
Might be.
Or, it could be hell.
Probably. Yes. Hell.
But so is staying here in the land of lost hope.
I have other talents.
I could open a boutique.
I could teach.
I could retire.
I could.
But I never thought I would.
I thought I would die doing what I loved, and all the sacrifice would have been worth it.
But I can confidently and devastingly say, that it has not.
Yet…
— Trish
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