I went with the well-meant goal of making her life “safer and simpler.” I was well intentioned, but realised that one cannot, and should not, try to change another person, even if we think it is for their benefit. Dealing with an elderly parent can be challenging. It’s part of life.
After all the craziness of the pandemic, I put my life “on hold” again so I would be able to care for my 90 year old mom who was living alone.
Safer and simpler. That isn’t a bad thing, is it?
It was one step forward, two steps backwards every time I tried to suggest or do something to make her life safer and simpler.
I admit I was hurt when she would snap and not appreciate my efforts. There were times when she was downright disagreeable. When my eyes would fill with tears and I felt like shouting at her, I would take a deep breath and hold my tongue. She’s doing the best she can and at 90, she’s doing remarkably well. I needed to be patient.
When she’d get testy with me, I would just raise my hands and walk out of the room. I’d put on my shoes and head to the beach. I’ve always enjoyed walking and it’s about the only physical exercise that I can do now. Hearing the crash of the waves, smelling the salty air and seeing the shore birds brought me instant relief every time. I especially enjoyed the low tide. It was just a 15 minute walk down the hill and I had the perfect escape where I appreciated every footstep and was grateful for being alive. I returned to the house with a clear mind and felt ready to deal with mom again.
— MCW
After all the craziness of the pandemic, I put my life “on hold” again so I would be able to care for my 90 year old mom who was living alone.
Safer and simpler. That isn’t a bad thing, is it?
It was one step forward, two steps backwards every time I tried to suggest or do something to make her life safer and simpler.
I admit I was hurt when she would snap and not appreciate my efforts. There were times when she was downright disagreeable. When my eyes would fill with tears and I felt like shouting at her, I would take a deep breath and hold my tongue. She’s doing the best she can and at 90, she’s doing remarkably well. I needed to be patient.
When she’d get testy with me, I would just raise my hands and walk out of the room. I’d put on my shoes and head to the beach. I’ve always enjoyed walking and it’s about the only physical exercise that I can do now. Hearing the crash of the waves, smelling the salty air and seeing the shore birds brought me instant relief every time. I especially enjoyed the low tide. It was just a 15 minute walk down the hill and I had the perfect escape where I appreciated every footstep and was grateful for being alive. I returned to the house with a clear mind and felt ready to deal with mom again.
— MCW
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