I waited too late tonight to come back and write this, and the most coherent though I’ve had all day on the subject is that I still find myself bound to programming that says don’t ask for anything for yourself. Even now, and even my prayers, show evidence of this. I have to be really desperate before I will actually go bug God with something asky.
Yet I’ll spend hours contentedly running Seek Ye First through my mind.
I wonder why that is…why one is still sliced through with presumption fears and one is a soothing blessing in the midst of lives and worlds that are thoroughly un-soothing.
And my eyes won’t stay open, so there’s that.
I think I’ll just keep seeking the kin-dom, not living by bread alone, and trust that asking in that context is both safe and overseen by one who knows all of me so the fact that I can’t quite self-advocate will also be understood and accepted.
Selah.
— FriarMir
Yet I’ll spend hours contentedly running Seek Ye First through my mind.
I wonder why that is…why one is still sliced through with presumption fears and one is a soothing blessing in the midst of lives and worlds that are thoroughly un-soothing.
And my eyes won’t stay open, so there’s that.
I think I’ll just keep seeking the kin-dom, not living by bread alone, and trust that asking in that context is both safe and overseen by one who knows all of me so the fact that I can’t quite self-advocate will also be understood and accepted.
Selah.
— FriarMir
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