A recurring dream that I had while serving as a pastor was that I was having trouble finding my clothes and getting dressed when it was time to begin worship services. I know now that this recurring anxiety dream happened whenever I didn't feel properly prepared for the next morning's worship. However it also happened when getting ready for a trip or some other event coming up. While there were variations in the dream, it was mostly the same problem--some important item of clothing couldn't be found and it was time to begin.
Of course it is easy to point to the source of the dream. Beyond the point though is a message to me about my inability to feel good about choices and decisions I had made. There was always something more to be discovered or learned before the finishing touch could be made to the product coming from me. I was always thinking about how better I could have made the statement. I was finding in myself arguments to words I would speak.
One might think of that as a character fault, a fault that leads to procrastination. When I began learning about the Meyers/Briggs Inventory, I learned that rather than it being a problem it was part of who I am. I learned that I am E(xtrovert)N(intuitive)F(eeling)P(erceiving). I found out why it was so difficult to choose a restaurant or to choose a meal from the menu. I found out that my hesitancy was a gift that was always seeking new and better information. I also found out that part of this was always seeking to be of help to others.
Of course any gift can also become a problem. Procrastination can be a way to preserve power and cover up weakness. It can be a cloak that hides fear of failure. What matters most, though, is how whatever we offer to the world, it is simply what we offer. The product is not as important as the effort.
In cases where it is the case that the product is the most important matter, like flying a passenger jet plane or brain surgery, there are ways to ensure that the product comes with perfection. The means is the development of protocols based on previous experience. For me that means using tools that help me keep on track, like flow charts and self-imposed markers of where I should be with any project.
The miracle is that the dreams have disappeared. I can't remember when I had my last anxiety dream. My products may not have improved. I am not worrying about them.....so much.
— ronnw
Of course it is easy to point to the source of the dream. Beyond the point though is a message to me about my inability to feel good about choices and decisions I had made. There was always something more to be discovered or learned before the finishing touch could be made to the product coming from me. I was always thinking about how better I could have made the statement. I was finding in myself arguments to words I would speak.
One might think of that as a character fault, a fault that leads to procrastination. When I began learning about the Meyers/Briggs Inventory, I learned that rather than it being a problem it was part of who I am. I learned that I am E(xtrovert)N(intuitive)F(eeling)P(erceiving). I found out why it was so difficult to choose a restaurant or to choose a meal from the menu. I found out that my hesitancy was a gift that was always seeking new and better information. I also found out that part of this was always seeking to be of help to others.
Of course any gift can also become a problem. Procrastination can be a way to preserve power and cover up weakness. It can be a cloak that hides fear of failure. What matters most, though, is how whatever we offer to the world, it is simply what we offer. The product is not as important as the effort.
In cases where it is the case that the product is the most important matter, like flying a passenger jet plane or brain surgery, there are ways to ensure that the product comes with perfection. The means is the development of protocols based on previous experience. For me that means using tools that help me keep on track, like flow charts and self-imposed markers of where I should be with any project.
The miracle is that the dreams have disappeared. I can't remember when I had my last anxiety dream. My products may not have improved. I am not worrying about them.....so much.
— ronnw
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