In The Now

CHEMO SUCKS.

It is hard on the body.

It is hard on the spirit.

But the worst…the worst part…

It steals your memories.

Chunks of time, erased from your past as if…

As if…

They never existed.

Because they didn’t.

And…

And…

The others, that insisted they did…

Can’t possible understand.

They keep trying to jog your memory with repetitve descriptions.

Photos even.

But who is the person they are talking about?

Who is that woman with the red hair in the bridesmaid’s dress at your wedding?

Not me.

To me.

Just a stranger.

She’s pretty though.

And, looks like she is having a good time.

She looks happy.

Sooooo happy.

Carefree.

Unaware of the Cancer that will change her life.

I miss her.

The her, in the whens, that I do remember.

She was inspiring.

Driven.

Ballsy.

I am still.

Ballsy.
And Driven.

And inspired.

In a different way.

The me.

In the now.

— Trish