Weaving in and out of prayers and dreams

I live in a mix of surprise, gratitude and dependency. Gratitude, always there, is easy. Dependency, a newcomer, is difficult. I am lucky. I have been fortunate for 79 years. My life Is still full of wonders: a loving partner, two healthy children, four grandchildren and an assortment of animal friends who keep me busy. I Have Alzheimer’s disease.

My first prayer of the day, every day is Thank You God! I say it over and over until it develops its own rhythm as I begin my daily office of prayer and readings and my collection of favorite supplications, confessions, and intercessions. Then I meditate and weave in and out of prayers and dreams.

Alzheimer’s has misplaced chunks of my recent memories. It threatens my once cherished and fiercely protected independence. I keep busy developing habits and systems for storing and retrieving my memories. I keep notes on this computer and in little notebooks strategically placed around the house. Sometimes I pretend there is a camera in my head and I blink-click on images I want to keep. It help; really it does. I know I am going to need an index so I can effectively store and access those things I most want to remember. So far, my little blue book helpful.

— Julian